This Bipolar Life: Dreams, Apologies and Forgiveness

Ever wonder what eight-year-old you would feel about the life you are leading now? I do. Maybe it’s because of all my therapy but more than once I’ve been told I need get in touch with my inner child. For a long time I didn’t get it. Now I do.

“Getting in touch with your inner child” sounds really big and kind of “woo woo” right? Well, it’s like peeling back an onion. Very slowly. Layer by layer the tears come faster and faster until you reach the center and find enveloped in all these years of mere existence the tiny little spirit of life. Your life. My life. The Inner Child. Only then can the conversation truly begin. Here are the three key areas I ran into:

Dreams: Did you reach for them? Did you achieve them? Why? What’s the hold up? These are the questions we must answer to our IC. There’s no other way. We must account for our choices and offer grace and forgiveness as we go. I mean, if you really wanted to run away and join the circus, what stopped you? Is it still able to do that? Can you find another way? Is it even still a dream? I mean, if you stripped away all barriers, would you still do it? Yes? Then make a way.

Apologies: Another important one. Once I apologized to my inner-8yo for not being strong enough to protect her (or love her enough to bear the lack of love from elsewhere) I felt lighter and more relaxed. As if I had finally acknowledged all the pain and disappointment I went through. I have worked hard ever since to make sure the choices I make include that young child. That little girl. The one who had ginormous dreams and silly energy.

Forgiveness: This one is huge. Look back. Did you do your best with what you knew at the time? Yes? Then set your heart free of the burden of not being “good enough” or making the “right” choices, etc. Know that you made the *best* choices with the tools you had at the time. Self-forgiveness is one of the greatest gifts we can offer ourselves. It’s up to us to believe we are worth it.

I am the dreamer. It was and is up to me to make sure I honor my inner 8yo with my choices. To feel joy, embrace life, dance in the rain, explore, discover…so much more! That little one is in there waiting for a chance to come out and play and it’s my turn to lend a hand.

So yes, “Hello there, I’m here, and I love you. Please forgive me.”

Perfect way to start the dialog.

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